November 2002 rediagnosed with a recurring tumor I am going to bring you through the whole fun thing
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Brain Tumor History And Other Rants
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Saturday, March 15, 2003
1st Seizure Second Trip
12/17/02
It’s amazing what can happen in the blink of an eye. Sure a lot of people haven’t heard the old war story of my first brain tumor surgery, but will I tell it again outside of this text, probably not. Friday around 11:30 / 12 Lea came in my office. I could sense the visit for whatever reason, we have some business to discuss now that she will be handling some of our services / stations. She was joking of course about adding a monkey to my jungle at work. So the conversation changes to the whole old mess. Which is what I thought she was wondering about. Lea’s been with us for about 3 months. So she wasn’t around at all for the first trip. I started telling her about the first 3 week trip, the new detection, the new awake surgery. I guess my anxiety was kicking up, it’s hard to run through jokes in telling this story.
All of a sudden my eyes start pinning left, and she goes what’s wrong. I knew right away my head was turning left, and I couldn’t talk. I grabbed a pen and wrote seizure with my right hand and she said what what’s wrong I wrote 911, again what what’s wrong. Seizure 911. then I just couldn’t stop or control a thing. Lea yelled for help. And called 911. I just wanted to fall to the floor eventually the chair moved enough and I dropped to the floor, under my desk. The whole time I was awake praying to just pass out to forget what was going on, I was thinking stop turn to the right lie on my back, PASS OUT. Why won’t I just pass out. No such luck. There is no pain to it, in fact I hit my head and didn’t know it. It is the lack of control and the spasms that suck. Imagine your eyes move and arms and head and leg and you don’t control them. You think stop turn back and you can’t. It’s the lack of control that sucks so bad and being aware of it happening that is harrowing. Awake the whole time then I came out of it. My speech was slurred my whole left side weakened by the whole thing. Lea and Lani laying with me on the floor helping me. I tried getting up twice but they told me to stay still. I was telling them phone numbers that Mo was home but shopping. Dr.’s numbers where to look in my palm pilot. Pretty aware considering the mess I got into. Man all I could think was that this changed all the rules. Seizures are no good. No more driving. Going to have to sell the car, man this screws everything up all while I was laying there. People were coming and going. Margaret, Danny, Cathy, I don’t remember who else. Of course I was complaining I wanted drugs and where was the ambulance, call my doctors I wan to go to NYU, thinking they are going to lock me up. And I wonder why I had anxiety? My mind and mouth won’t shut up. Finally 2 medics show up, more on that later. They start asking questions I am yelling out answers who am I where am I what day is it, Friday the 13th of course. Hey they are just checking the awareness of the mental patient. Did I hit my head, um no, but I did I just never felt it. Alright like the movies, everyone clear out. Lea stayed with us, they lift me up into one of those little wheel chairs. Lea’s on the phone, yes, no, well the medics are here now, yes, no. I go who the heck’s on the phone, oh Joe from the building, the other building! Tell him to get off the phone. Hint to all facility people don’t call the scene of the drama with 20 questions it upsets the victim! So I get a few more questions and an oxygen mask. They ask Lea what happened, I go I know everything that happened I was awake. You were awake? Yes I was awake. Then it wasn’t a seizure. Yes it was. Most seizures black out. I know that. I didn’t. OK it’s a partial! We agree. I run through what I can for their report. Keep in mind this whole time I told them I have to go to NYU that is where my dr’s are. Well we are supposed to take you to the nearest hospital, yes that is nice, but I want to go to NYU. Well you will have to sign a form saying you asked for this. Fine whatever it takes we are going to NYU. If it was life or death you would have to go the nearest hospital, it must be my lucky day I am not life or death I can choose. The choice basically was stay at work or go to NYU, so these people didn’t have a choice.
So we get wheeled out past all the on-lookers in the hallway. To my own private waiting elevator. Down to the lobby. Wouldn’t you know it 2 building guys have all 4 doors wide open for me to the street. 2 medics and Cathy and me and people still walk in front of you on the sidewalk. I was very tempted to yell out, don’t eat at McDonalds but I didn’t have the energy. Up out of the chair into the rig. Onto the stretcher buckled in with my O2. Cathy jumps in with me. Cathy rocks for the record. She goes, I am making sure you get to NYU. Believe me Sharon Osbourne could not kick Cathy’s ass, ask her sometime!
So skip ahead a boring ride with an ice pack on my head. We get to NYU it’s a madhouse people all over the hallway, barely getting me through. I hear them say we only heard no life threatening people for here. So, we weren’t technically supposed to show up here? Just call my doctors and shut up!! Cathy went to check me in. They did the old temperature and heart rate thing again.
I am alive and kicking and pissed because I did this before lunch and now I am not going to eat.
They leave me in the hallway next to that big metal button you push to open the doors right behind me, yes we are lined up in the hallway. Cathy returns after 20 minutes of paranoia alone in the hallway, yeah anxiety pretty up there. My left side is feeling like a fatigue from the spasms, back of my left eye hurts. Finally a doctor comes around I tell him the whole story, best line, how long did the seizure last…. Um let me remember the clock said….. I don’t know. 2 minutes is what I came up with maybe it was shorter I don’t know. He says someone is coming from Dr. Pacia’s office as we speak. So I ask him, can I go to the bathroom figuring it would be a production, so he goes yes it’s down the hall. Now I am like, ok I don’t feel too strange. Picture being real drunk and having to maneuver down a ER hallway with people and patients and you are like reaching for stuff because this big boat is swaying. I made it there. Did my business and now I make my way back and run into of all people my father. Big hug, Cathy’s there big hug hey it’s a party! Bring on the drugs.
So here comes the doctor they send from my doctor’s office. He asks me all the same questions again, I said you know I am just going to write this down for you guys. I go through everything and he calls it into Dr. Pacia. Comes back, ok we are going to probably going to send you home, we just need to get some blood work. I start asking him about getting a little something to take the anxiety away. He mentions something about pharmapsycologist some crap. I don’t know. Claims they don’t like to give anything to people because it is so addictive. I just am paranoid and want a little something for the edge when it comes. Like now, Cathy agrees, just give him a little something. My father gambles with the how about if he just drinks a little wine, no alcohol, no driving. No drinking and driving now what do I do? He goes and calls Dr. Pacia still won’t write anything out. Well the vampire shows up to pull blood.
They send me over to a bed area, and out of the hallway now. They said just go wait there and then we will release you. So I am hanging out. I look down the chaotic hallway and who do I see but Holley looking all over for me. Wait a minute she is off of work today. She came into the city when she heard to check on me. At this point I tell her I am waiting to be released. One nurse comes by and goes so we are checking you in. I go no way I am checking out you better check your chart.
So now a 3rd doctor comes around, to this date I have gotten no drugs. I hit him up. He goes yeah, you are right I could prescribe you like 5 pills to have if you need them. Finally we are getting drugs. He writes the scrip and I bust out of there.
There’s the story of the first second diagnosis seizure there are several others you will read about coming up soon.
6:17 PM
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