November 2002 rediagnosed with a recurring tumor I am going to bring you through the whole fun thing
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Brain Tumor History And Other Rants
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Thursday, March 13, 2003
Ok so this stuff won't be in total chronological order of the whole experience, but you should enjoy it none-the-less.
Here are a couple great hospital stories:
Greatest hits:
2nd Trip
When I get to a shared room I am sharing with this guy named Michael. Same age as me just a lot worse shape. During the day his mother sits with him, he doesn’t say a word. She talks with him and begs him to get better and to be nice or she won’t come see him anymore. They go through the TV which they keep on 11 all day their TV is louder than mine dammit, turn that crap off. When his mother leaves at night it is party time for Michael. The hospital robe and sheets come off. The nurse comes in she says Michael you have to keep your robe on now you have a room mate now. Keep in mind I am being silent because I really don’t want Michael to know I am here. He says to the nurse, “No, I like being naked!”
She replies if you don’t keep your robe on I will have to put you in restraints.”
He says, “No you won’t.”
It is funny but not funny. One of the nurses assistants comes in with a new robe for him, I said to her on her way out.
”I didn’t know it was going to be that type of party.”
She got a laugh out of it. When she went back over he asked her the kicker.
“When are you going to suck my dick.”
She says, “I am not that type of girl.”
These women have seen and heard it all and are not going to take his shit. She looked over to me laughing. Man it can be a lot worse. But again the shit only hit the fan when mom wasn’t around, or was it when the sun went down, I am not too sure.
Michael is the source of a lot of material. The sexual request was repeated several times during my stay. This would freak out my girlfriend and guests alike.
Michael wanted food all the time. But he couldn’t really feed himself. So they would bring in his food tray and then he would have to wait for someone to come feed him breakfast and dinner, usually his mom was around to feed him lunch and sometimes the other meals.
I would hear, ”Room Service, I am hungry.”
And sometimes this was after he ate he wanted more food, they weren’t giving him much and it was a lot of jello and stuff, and a lot of medications make you hungry.
Nurses can range from one that is awesome. My first 3 nights I stayed in ICU only because they didn’t have a room for me which was ok, I had a private room with a great view, although it was to my back, all my guests didn’t have to stare at me, they could always look out the window. The nurse I had the first 3 nights was really great. Nice and attentive. I mean I was in good shape don’t let me fool you. I didn’t sleep much and by 5am I just gave up and stayed awake. The first morning I had been up since 5am. When my visitors finally came to see me at like 1130 / 12 I yelled what took you so long. I had been sitting there alone with no TV, not that I cared there. No phone, nobody to talk to, I was bored. The daytime nurses wanted nothing to do with me. I really didn’t need much attention. The woman I was really nice to was the food lady. The first morning she was like an angel to me, wow food, I hadn’t eaten real food in like 48 hours. Keep in mind this angel was one stocky black woman, just trying to make it through her day. But I also wanted to be on her good side, she controlled the distribution of my breakfast and lunch. She was very important to me, you don’t piss her off!
The surgery wasn’t that crazy what I hated was that damn catheter. They kept that thing in till like 430 the next day, I had to go to an MRI with that damn thing in, totally not fair. Finally the nurse took it out, poor her, I was totally paranoid about the removal of that thing, I hate that thing but I think all guys do.
1st Trip
I really wasn’t there that long to get too many stories last time I was in for 3 weeks that had some boring times some stoned times, it ran the gammit.
I remember I had to do a test for brain mapping. What they had done was a 2 surgery process. The first surgery they opened me up and put a grid in my head. Needless to say I had a group of like 20 some-odd wires coming out of my head, pretty crazy. Not as crazy as the drain tube they had in me for blood. They pulled that out of me after the surgery, go figure! But anyway back to this grid. The whole point is to stimulate it so they can map the outside of your brain. Great this should be fun. So the big day for mapping comes, they tell me this usually will stimulate a seizure, but it isn’t a real one since this guy will be stimulating it. And just let them know when it happens they will hit me with some drugs to calm it right in my vein, ah modern medicine. Early in the day they hit me up with some dope to mellow my noodle out for this test. Then this guy comes in with what looks like a 1970’s stereo amp, you know the look, silver front with big dials and some wires that he strategically hooks up to wires that run to the map in my head. This all applies to this rough picture on paper. The deal is he sends in little electrical impulses to see what will happen. This is painless, remember the brain feels no pain. Unless of course an impulse hits my brain sac which I might feel a burn.
So he starts the test. This should be your left hand and my left hand raises. This should be your tongue and my tongue wags. Left thumb. Etc. When he gets to my eye I think, he trigured the seizure, so I yell out seizure. The nurse comes over hits me in the vein. Seizure ends. Now I am high as a kite. Now you are talking about a guy who the only drug he did was drink. So now you are hitting me with heavy narcotics. So now the hallucinations start. Something totally new to me. You know those metal poles that are all over hospitals that they use to hang bags off of to feed you crap. I watched one of those bend in half. And the right side of my bed I just knew that I couldn’t look there because there was this rotten decaying green, yellow and black torso corpse. So I didn’t look to the right of the bed. The guy doing the test had black hair of his hand and fingers, and he held out his hand and I saw the hair fall off of his finger. FREAKY! Later that night I saw a moth fall from the ceiling and go down my girlfriends shirt. Psst, it was never there.
Heavy stuff. I even asked them is there any way you can take the edge off? They said um, no. So is this what people feel like when they are stoned, well our stuff is a little more pure.
10:17 AM
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