November 2002 rediagnosed with a recurring tumor I am going to bring you through the whole fun thing
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Brain Tumor History And Other Rants
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Saturday, November 01, 2003
I had to start getting the funds together to pay off my car today. Monday I will go and fed-ex ford motor credit what I owe them. Then I will get the title back and then my baby-doll (my car) will be gone. I dig that car. I got to see my nieces for the first time in like about 11 months today that was nice. They beat the hell out of me, but what good is an uncle unless you can climb on his back sit in his lap, play monster all that stuff. I feel bad I don’t do more for them. But I am going to excuse this year, I was busy. Hey I use that excuse for everything else this year. So when I was at the doctors Thursday. I told him that there are some nights I literally watch the clock, every ½ hour 11:00, 11:30,12:00,12:30,1:00,1:30,2:00, 2:30, 3:00 (and I start thinking, ok I only have to lay here like 4 more hours.) Most of the time I am tired enough to fall asleep, but some nights, I just don’t, and it wipes my whole next day. Plus being tired, run-down, stressed are all great ingredients for seizures. So he prescribed something for me to take on the nights that I can’t sleep. He wrote on the prescription for insomnia. It is almost weird, I mean that is what I told the doctor I had, but I would never have called it that. I guess I am in denial about my conditions I don’t know. But when a doctor throws conditions at you or names your problems it seems a bit shocking I guess. I mean hear I am discussing a few odd nights a month and I have been through 3 brain surgeries, if that didn’t shock me what will? All in all the last brain surgery I had was a cakewalk. I recommend it to everyone. It’s chemo everyone should avoid. At all costs!
So to continue my old war stories here we go. So last time we left I was getting all prepped by my new doctors on my brain surgery, and how it was going to be a 2 part operation. See the a couple posts ago if you are not up to snuff. So on Monday October 18th 1999 I went to the table. They wheeled me down to the table and opened me up. I woke up post op, pretty uncomfortable. I now had like 20 wires sticking out of my head. Before I left post op they pull your catheter out. Now here’s the problem. I got a nurse that does NOT want to be there that day. And maybe she has men issues. I don’t know. For those of you that have had a nice life without ever experiencing a catheter I will explain. They put you under then put a tube down your jimmy, when it is in there they blow up a balloon that sits in your bladder this helps to make some pressure so the pee comes out the tube. OK enough about that. Back to the monster, I believe to this day she did not deflate the balloon enough and pulled out this balloon out of my you know what (Every man can say OWWW right now). Exactly I was in pain for 3 days. As if the whole vacation wasn’t enough fun already, they injure my you know what. So I was now moved out of my private room and into a room with 3 other patients. The set up is a patient in each corner of the room. It is a pretty big room, so you all have your space, plus don’t forget we have divider curtains for our privacy when we need it. But in this room we have 2 nurses on duty 24 hours a day. Not the same ones they come and go in 8 hour shifts. But always 2 nurses in the room just for us. Plus my head is hooked up to a machine with these 20 or so wires. And a video camera is on my 24 hours a day that is running video tape on me. You see as they rolled me back to this new room they told me they were hoping I would have a seizure. This way all these machines could record it. I told them flat out, well unfortunately you are not going to get your data because I am not going to have another one of those. Aries we are stubborn, but I didn’t have another one in the hospital. One thing I skipped over for the squimish after the surgery they also had a drain tube out the back of my head held in by a staple, this was to drain off excess blood, nice.
But anyway let’s get to this grid I keep talking about. The whole point is to stimulate it so they can map the outside of your brain. Great this should be fun. So the big day for mapping comes, they tell me this usually will stimulate a seizure, but it isn’t a real one since this guy will be stimulating it. And just let them know when it happens they will hit me with some drugs to calm it right in my vein, ah modern medicine. I wish I could carry this needle with me daily, except, could you imagine trying to inject while seizing, ok skip the needle. Early in the day they hit me up with some dope to mellow my noodle out for this test. Then this guy comes in with what looks like a 1970’s stereo amp, you know the look, silver front with big dials and some wires that he strategically hooks up to wires that run to the map in my head. This all applies to this rough picture on paper. The deal is he sends in little electrical impulses to see what will happen. This is painless, remember the brain feels no pain. Unless of course an impulse hits my brain sac which I might feel a burn.
So he starts the test. This should be your left hand and my left hand raises. This should be your tongue and my tongue wags. Left thumb. Etc. When he gets to my eye I think, he trigured the seizure, so I yell out seizure. The nurse comes over hits me in the vein. Seizure ends. Now I am high as a kite. Now you are talking about a guy who the only drug he did was drink. So now you are hitting me with heavy narcotics. So now the hallucinations start. Something totally new to me. You know those metal poles that are all over hospitals that they use to hang bags off of to feed you crap. I watched one of those bend in half. And the right side of my bed I just knew that I couldn’t look there because there was this rotten decaying green, yellow and black torso corpse. So I didn’t look to the right of the bed. The guy doing the test had black hair of his hand and fingers, and he held out his hand and I saw the hair fall off of his finger. FREAKY! Later that night I saw a moth fall from the ceiling and go down my girlfriends shirt. Psst, it was never there.
Heavy stuff. I even asked them is there any way you can take the edge off? They said um, no. So is this what people feel like when they are stoned, well our stuff is a little more pure.
The whole test wasn’t that long and I was so wasted I just wanted it over. But imagine some guy sending low voltage to your head and making your body do things you didn’t ask it to do.
So more drama was in store for me, I was supposed to go in for mapping surgery Monday and removal surgery on Thursday. But they were mad I didn’t have a seizure on film and with the wires in my head so they pushed my surgery to Monday. I was one pissed puppy needless to say. My surgeon found out I was mad, and stopped by to visit me. He said the team of doctors really wanted to wait longer, and it wasn’t him. Dr. Doyle was as Rock N Roll as a doctor could be, the guy is a brain surgeon, but don’t let it fool you. He is all about Rock N Roll, Very cool guy and wanted me to be comfortable the whole time and offered to roll it to Sunday if he could, I said Sunday or Monday really didn’t make a difference, and on Monday he would have his “A” team of doctors with him. So Monday the 25th it was.
To be continued….
8:29 PM
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