November 2002 rediagnosed with a recurring tumor I am going to bring you through the whole fun thing
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Brain Tumor History And Other Rants
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Saturday, February 28, 2004
Bob Dylan Shooting Star From: Oh Mercy
Seen a shooting star tonight
And I thought of you.
You were trying to break into another world
A world I never knew.
I always kind of wondered
If you ever made it through.
Seen a shooting star tonight
And I thought of you.
Seen a shooting star tonight
And I thought of me.
If I was still the same
If I ever became what you wanted me to be
Did I miss the mark or
Over-step the line
That only you could see?
Seen a shooting star tonight
And I thought of me.
Listen to the engine, listen to the bell
As the last fire truck from hell
Goes rolling by, all good people are praying,
It's the last temptation
The last account
The last time you might hear the sermon on the mount,
The last radio is playing.
Seen a shooting star tonight
Slip Away.
Tomorrow will be another day.
Guess it's too late to say the things to you
That you needed to hear me say.
Seen a shooting star tonight
Slip away.
So we can re set the calendar. Who am I kidding throw them out. The good news is, if I keep this up the roads will always be safe. I got woken up Friday morning by a facial seizure. I knew it was coming all the random ticks. The relief after one is knowing that I have never had 2 in one day. And the ticks seem to subside for a while. Almost like it builds up, happens and then it is done for a while. I keep a record of them, that way when I go see my doctor I just hand it to him to update him with the exact gory details. I don?t know, maybe living on the mountain in isolation is getting to me. I am not getting any younger all that crap. But I haven?t been driving, working, getting around. Hey I just gave my last holiday present yesterday. It?s been months since I saw this guy so I was able to give them their gift. I guess being 30 which I guess is supposed to be a productive time, to feel like you are in a freeze frame is frustrating. I have been trying to fight this mind set I have been trying to think more positive and try to focus on figuring out a future, but I guess I have stumbled a bit. I guess I hate set-backs. OK we all do, some of us make our own set-backs. I have just had no control for like 15 months. I mean back in 12/02 when I had a seizure at work, afterwards I was laying on the ground, and all I could think about, the thing that upset me most was that I wouldn?t be able to drive. By having the seizure it screwed everything up. My situation was out of my control again. It had come back to own me. Yeah I know I am only owned by it if I let myself be.
I was supposed to restart my maintenance chemo again tonight, but this past Wednesday when I went to get my blood check up, my platlets were low again. So my doctor put off me restarting the chemo again to see where my levels were going. So I am going back next Wednesday to get checked again to see if I am going back up, or if we have to check again the following week. Let me tell you it takes nothing to get used to only seeing a doctor once a month. I mean don?t get me wrong I have 3 different doctors so I still see someone at least every other week, but when you have to go back on once a week appointments, it is frustrating. I mean it still beats 3 times a week. But that is the crappy part of this stuff, all your life you get a cold you break a bone, you get better and you are done with it. This thing doesn?t let go. In a sense it does own my body.
6:24 PM
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