November 2002 rediagnosed with a recurring tumor I am going to bring you through the whole fun thing
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Brain Tumor History And Other Rants
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Wednesday, May 26, 2004
Everything happens for a reason, but no one ever tells you who knows the reasons. And why the hell can’t I pick some of the stuff that happens to me!!!
I am doing my best to change my talkative ways. I mean some people just can’t handle honesty with stuff, and why even go there. I mean I am the one thing I can control, and how I react to other people. But we all do it, we let other people get under our skin and get to us. Most people are so oblivious to things also. If you were a stranger to yourself, would you be friends with yourself? I think most people would annoy themselves if they were looking from the outside in. People do the same things to me, they tell me things I don’t want to hear, but maybe that is the honesty that some friends need to have.
I can’t live in the shadow of this crap anymore, but at the same time I have to be brutally honest with myself as to what I can and can’t do. Having low platlets exposes me to dangers I would normally not have, I could bleed to death in a lot quicker situation than most people. I mean they aren’t dangerously low but low enough to have to curtail my activities around it. I don’t know….
Lot’s of changes going on. I hope to have most of everything set up again to start reliving this year. I mean the last 17 months have been a vacuum that I have to make up for. I just want to get back to having some fun in life. I guess that’s my current goal, reestablishing my stuff and doing what I still have to do with doctors, but gearing my life back to having fun. I mean being single again, I can afford to get selfish. Now I have been selfish for the wrong reasons in the past. But what I mean is at my age a lot of people around me are already on their way to having their own lives / families, me I just want to enjoy what time I have on the clock. I mean you get jealous of people that seem to have it together, but then you got to just be happy for your friends that are living a great life, and try to encourage them to stay on that path. People will do what they want irregardless of what you try to convince them of. Nothing is guaranteed, we all know that or you really know it if someone tells you that you are facing a brick wall. So you got to grab at straws, and deal with it. I suffered last year, and I am sick of suffering, and sacrificing a life, that is for sure. I have made a lot of sacrifices to live this year. So I am trying to make plans and goals to shoot towards. No I am not the self-improvement Bob, I just want to try to gain some control over my situation and do things that I enjoy. Do I see other people involved in my life, not really. I just figure I am all I have to deal with. So I look forward to my own plans at this point.
AC/DC
Powerage (1978)
She had the word
Had the way
The way of letting me know
She knew the game
Called the play
Oh she hit me low
She said, "Now you go your way
I'll go mine
And that's a start"
Doctor, doctor
Ain't no cure
For the pain in my heart
CHORUS:
Gimme a bullet to bite on
Something to chew
Gimme a bullet to bite on
And I'll make believe
I'll make believe it's you
Don't need no drink
Don't need no drug
Don't need no sympathy
Sooner or later
Send me a bill
For what she's doing to me
Operator
Long distance lips
On the telephone
Come tomorrow
Come to grips
With being all alone
CHORUS
Gimme a bullet to bite on
Something to chew
Gimme a bullet to bite on
And I'll make believe
I'll make believe it's you
Bullet to bite on
Gimme a bullet to bite on
Yeah
cmon now
yeah yeah
bullet to bite on
yeah yeah
bullet to chew
I need something to chew (bullet to bite on)
I'll make believe it's you
Gimme a bullet to bite on
Oh, you're a bullet baby
I want a bullet to bite on
A bullet
12:36 PM
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