November 2002 rediagnosed with a recurring tumor I am going to bring you through the whole fun thing
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Brain Tumor History And Other Rants
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Wednesday, April 13, 2005
4/13/05
Wrap up
So that is it the chapter in the hospital. The stories aren’t over, for right now or since then there has been less to tell. This forum has been great therapy to get all that happened out there and helped keep my support system / network of friends in the know of what happened and what I went through. I know it took me awhile to get those 11 days up here, but that adds to the drama of those lonely nights in the hospital when no one was there to make you smile or want to fight on. The hours you fill with contemplation, the nice things your close friends do and say. It is all priceless. But at the same time that is what the life we have and squander away every day is. To live within miles of close friends but not to get together on any regular basis, wasteful. To work with great people and never have that hey it’s great to have you back lunch. Hey I wasn’t a surgeon I could leave my desk. I spoke to a lot of the nurses, and nurses aids about things sometimes hallucinations, sometimes their lives, sometimes their “everyday” lives,my life, everyone knew Heather or knew of her. It hit me that everyday they make a difference. For the nurses and aids there has to be a spiritual reward to working 12 hour shifts with just 1 hour lunch, no breaks. One aid asked me one night I don’t know do we really make a difference? I said every time we leave this building you make a difference. Not all of us leave breathing, but then you are not suffering anymore. I had little voice, but I always thanked everyone I could. When I started feeling better I made thank you cards up for everyone I came into contact with. The kitchen, nurses, nurses-aids, doctors, the union guys that did the cleaning all got cards. Keep this in mind in a helpless situation where maybe you are suffering bad, you never know where help can come from, thankfully I wasn’t suffering, and that wasn’t my reason in as much to thank people that don’t always get thanked. I tell you what; I mentioned that the nurses don’t always come when you buzz them. On one of my hallway walks I walked by the nurses’ stations, there were two, the amount of buzzers and beeps going off at any given time were maddening, I don’t know how they don’t go crazy from the sound.
Always remember you can’t critique what you don’t understand.
Something else that has been amazing to hear from so many people that actually regularly check this spot, and follow my progress. It means a lot and has been supporting in if itself. Thank you to everyone who has taken time in their lives to keep tabs on me. I know I have great family and friends, it has been great to hear someone complain if there was no new update, or say the morbid humor helped them through their own crazy day.
Thank you to all of you for your interest and thoughts through this.
I promise more drama in May the plan is radiation first, then another round of chemo. I am lining everything to start in May for radiation, I will start that in New Jersey at Morristown Hospital.
5:13 PM
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