November 2002 rediagnosed with a recurring tumor I am going to bring you through the whole fun thing
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Brain Tumor History And Other Rants
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Wednesday, April 27, 2005
4/27/05
Again not any gore to report. Sorry about that. I have 2 doctor appointments this Friday in the city. I have been working on my hand re-training / therapy. If I skip a day of working on it I find I have less function so I really have to keep at it even when it gets sore. I have more and more strength but still not the fine motor control that I would like back. There are still simple things that my mind tells my hand to do and it just doesn’t do. It is a lot better than when I could do nothing. But I can’t trust it still with lifting things.
I think the solitude gets to me being a social person. But I know I don’t have the gusto to work. Just tracking down the insurance companies, HR firms (who are always on vacation) and trying to figure out what day it is is rough enough. None the less trying to take care of the house. I don’t have the stamina. I could never make a full day at work I would fall on my face. I guess today is just one of my dark days. I am also trying to cut back on the snacking thing that has my mood off a little. I am trying to eat better, carrot sticks to quell the munchies but we all know they aren’t filling. I don’t really know what it is pre-treatment blues, or just getting used to this lifestyle of not being independent anymore. That part of this deal hasn’t changed it still stinks. I mean before I was dealing with a lot more drama at home while on chemo, I was super down without the right support, but I won’t have to deal with that again. I have the support now to walk through hell. But I have been there and back, this time I am getting the t-shirt hat and tattoo to prove it so I don’t have to go back.
I am also driving myself into hock right now readjusting to a lower income stinks. Right now I am traveling in the red big time with just the basics. Groceries alone are being piled on a credit card each week I hate doing that I just don’t have the money coming in to support my bills. Oh well you can’t take it with you.
4:05 PM
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