November 2002 rediagnosed with a recurring tumor I am going to bring you through the whole fun thing   Archives << current   This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.

Brain Tumor History And Other Rants   Wednesday, May 31, 2006   You breathed on me and made my life a richer one to live, When I was deep in poverty you taught me how to give, Dried the tears up from my dreams and pulled me from the hole, Quenched my thirst and satisfied the burning in my soul. 7:39 AM Tuesday, May 30, 2006   5/30/06 I love you more than ever, more than time and more than love, I love you more than money and more than the stars above, Love you more than madness, more than waves upon the sea, Love you more than life itself, you mean that much to me. 7:22 AM Monday, May 29, 2006   5/30/06 The saying goes everything happens for a reason. Well at this big change in my life I know why this is happening. So everything before this was a dress rehearsal? Some of those rehearsals were cruel jokes played on me. I am not wallowing in my past illnesses although life without them would have been ok. Or would it? Would I be who I am without all the head stuff? Would I be with Heather is the big question. I mean we are rock solid I mean everyone has some cracks, don’t get me wrong. I mean she smokes crack just to deal with me everyday. I don’t like to do what ifs there was a time when I lived going in circles like a hawk wondering if I missed something. With Heather I don’t do that my life is forward. OJ said it if the glove don’t fit, nothing else in my life fit. I only guess that I must have wasted my time waiting for A. Heather to get out of High School, she is 6 years younger than I am and B. Me to be ready to know how to love her, she has taught me through her actions of love. And I guess I just road different boats until we passed in the right night at the right time. There has been no other passion for me since. I used to get whiplash in the city from all the ships that passed me by. Heather has changed that and I thought nothing could change that. I really don’t care anymore. I mean now I see or hear guys like damn look at her. I am like great, yep, somewhere some guy is sick of her. I hope they are on the right ships. Everything that has come before has made me learn when “It” hit me in the form of Heather. Yes she hits me help, help. She puts on a man-beater t-shirt and it’s on. 12:14 PM Friday, May 26, 2006   Memorial day recap I have been writing to a soldier over in Iraq for the past 5 months so that has taken a lot of my writing time. I send a letter every week and a package every month. I am just trying to give a little something back. I told him when they got home we will hand over the non supporters to him. He comes home in October. He is a mechanic and works nights. He’s 23 but says he feels like he is 60 some days. I have only gotten one letter from him. So most of my letter’s have just been one sided banter. He is lucky I can talk up a storm about the little I do in life, trust me he is probably a little tired about hearing about our dogs. Luckily he is a dog person. I really like trying to support him and his platoon in my own little way. One package I sent over pens pads and envelopes so they can write home. No staples for them to run to. I send fun stuff like candy also. I just sent him a birthday package with food drinks books, birthday cards a dog leash for his dog when he comes home. When Heather’s one friend’s brother was stationed over there we tore Walmart up for like $300 of snacks toiletries magazines it was like 3 boxes of stuff it was cool. 12:36 PM   5/26/06 7 days to the wedding. All is set. Heather is going away with her bridesmaids on Saturday overnight. I got bar-b-que all set. But enough about that, it’s memorial day weekend. I know most people just see it as a day off, start of summer etc. But what is it really about? Be thankful to your veterans Past and Present. Myself whenever I see anyone in military dress from past or present I go up to them and thank them. Honestly I really do. I even weekly write to a troop in Iraq. I got connected with him through: http://adoptaplatoon.org/new/ I have also donated to Paralyzed veterans here: http://www.pva.org/ You can send paper books to: http://operationpaperback.usmilitarysupport.org/ You can send a package via these people: http://www.treatanysoldier.com/ Or I am sure if you asked around you could make it more personal find out if anyone has family in the services. I have done that to. I am not saying I am high and mighty. I am just respectful to people who sacrificed for our country and give something back. Now if you are just talking about our current war. It is not about all Muslims. It is the extremists. Just look for how France and Europe. They are riddled with extremists. Our troops are truly trying to suppress these people from coming after our country again. Support the troops even if you don’t support the war. Last night I watched a show about a Marine core from Ohio who lost a lot of troops in the Iraq war. It showed pictures of some people that didn’t make it home, showed their families back home it killed me I was just tearing up. To see these young guys 18-22 losing their lives. I just want all the troops to come home. I remember my dad saying these boys need to come home. I am assuming that he sees his early life in these troops. Don’t forget the older vets, I feel bad because people hated the Vietnam War and took it out on the returning vets. There are not many other vets still around a lot of the Korean vets and WW2 and forget WW1, there are just a few vampires still around. These survivors are often forgotten also. If you have a local VFW try helping them if you can a lot of the older vets can’t even keep the halls going. Volunteer some time I promise it won’t kill you and they tell great stories, you might just hear the same story over and over though. You can become an associate member even if you not a veteran. A lot of them have cool bars, where the beer is cheap and pool tables. Hmmmm $6.00 for a beer here, $2.00 for a beer there, hell you can drink there to support them. Come on!!!! What’s Memorial day weekend without a beer? 12:12 PM Thursday, May 25, 2006   5/25/06 Nine days left. It's exciting, tiring, house isn't sold yet. I can't wait just send me a good credit first time home buyer soon. Know anyone? Send them my way. I need a nap. Blood test yesterday, I had to go to Pa. Tuesday about the new house, and Monday I had a dr. appt, in the city. The past weekend was busy also, final wedding plans. A few more items for next week and then BANG wedding. The way I feel now I will sleep through the Bahama trip. We take a car service from a motel at 5 am to go to the airport the morning after our wedding. I will be sleeping on the plane. I have gotten a few emails from people with brain tumors from my blog. It is interesting to see people all going through similar problems, but you all kind of come to grips or a different philosophy, inner-peace on your own. Life has it's own journeys for us. I feel bad for our troops every day is a gamble. Some people go through their days, weeks, hell lives and never think for others. I even see people who take their own spouses and children for total granted. Now I am not above reproach by far. I just have more time to look from the outside in. And I do not lie about what I see. 11:43 AM Saturday, May 20, 2006   5/20/06 So I have this dream right. We are all getting our seating chart together today and I was still waiting on a few responses. I switch offices with this one person that I was waiting on which is funny because it was in an office I never worked in, and funnier since I am out on disability. Turns out this office is used as storage for toilet paper and has a bunch of garbage in it. Then someone who did respond comes around as the cleaning person and I told them well maybe you want to come back there is a ton of garbage here. I got woken up by the pups and I put this Alice in Wonderland thing together. Yet just another case of from my perspective someone’s work, which in the realm of things is important to the person’s survival financially, in my perspective not really meaning anything in the world of friends it is nothing but poo paper and garbage. What the dream laid out to me was if you can not take the time out of all that to check off will not attend and mail back the pre-stamped card you need to question your priorities to yourself. Because all that garbage and poo paper isn’t going to be your friend or make you any more money. Don’t lose sight of the fact that your job is your job but your friends will be there for you office of junk or not. But don’t worry cause we’re still friends. You just won’t be in our seating chart, you can’t see out from your office, I didn’t take it you are just lost in it. 7:17 AM Thursday, May 18, 2006   We went to see our DJ for the wedding this past week, we have that all set. I had my bachelor party this past weekend down at Atlantic City with a couple of friends. We partied like rock stars in at least ½ dozen bars, saw a comedy show, and ate a ton of food and slept very little. It took me days to recover, thanks to some of my closest friends. Heather goes away this weekend for a night. Our wedding is 2 weeks from Saturday, June 3rd. We are looking forward to it, This Sunday we meet with the hall and we are all set. Time is flying by. No blood test this week, one less thing I had to do. I have one next week and then my wedding, honeymoon. Which reminds me I need a good book for the flight / trip. The dogs have been behaving better one of them was sick this week. I had to watch over him. 8:36 AM Tuesday, May 16, 2006   The Fundamental Things Bonnie Raitt Let's run naked through these city streets We're all captives of captivity Let's wear madness like a crucifix Let's tattoo Bible quotes across both our hips [Chorus:] Let's get back to the fundamental things Let's get back to the elements of style Let's get back to simple skin on skin Let's get back to the fundamental things Let's dance barefoot over broken glass Slither like a snake does through the wet, cold grass Howl and tremble in a sleepless grind Let's do the braindrain, leave it all behind [Chorus] You can sit in your room and worry You can contemplate the end Or let your house burn down behind you Run bare-ass through the streets again You can hide out on your rooftop Wishing you had never been Or go down to Hal's bar and grill Find your innocence again [Chorus] 4:14 PM Tuesday, May 09, 2006   Been tired, plenty tired this week. Not much new, we have to go discuss the florist tommorrow for the wedding. Down to 24 days. 11 days to rsvp or you get no seat. Hey even if it's no just send it in so we know we kept a pretty tight list, so if we invited cha we would love to see ya there. If you can't make it let us know, please. Damn my own sister hasn't rsvp'd, but she is just holding out for as long as possible in case she doesn't want to come. Hell I hope she isn't assuming I would put her down as coming, Respect the rsvp authoritie, If I don't have it in you don't have a seat. 4:20 PM Thursday, May 04, 2006   Blood numbers about the same down a little could be margin of error. Not really concerned. Tommorrow another trip to Pa. to look at houses. We are tired of the back and forth and are ready to move. We could be physically out of this house in probably a week right now. We already packed a bunch of stuff up already. But closing will probably take 45-60 days. Damn I can't wait. 4:00 PM Wednesday, May 03, 2006   5/3/06 One month until the wedding. Heather got hit on at her gym yesterday as she passed by some guy she turned around she only saw the back of his head. It’s like a Seinfeld episode; she will be in the gym thinking every guy with gray hair might be him. Obviously he wasn’t a butt guy or he would have been still looking at her. 7:30 AM