November 2002 rediagnosed with a recurring tumor I am going to bring you through the whole fun thing   Archives << current   This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.

Brain Tumor History And Other Rants   Friday, August 25, 2006   8/25/06 Why did they lie to us? They told us and made us memorize that pluto was a planet in our solar system. Not only have I never used this fact, I was forced to memorize one to many planets. I know a ot of comedians joke about algebra being useless which it is. But what about only teaching us the alphabet forwards when there are critical times in life you need to know it backwards. I can't do my own taxes, balance my checkbook, where's your algebra now? We leave high school with no pratical knowledge. When are we goimg to know that a train and car were doinng speed x to get to point y. We look at the train schedule and then addd 1/2 an hour because we know they are lying. In a car we risk dying speeds but usually get there the same time as a law abiding citizen give or take 3 minutes. How to do basic plumbing in your house, fix a toilet lets say call a plumber pay $300 now that knowledge is worth something. The bones in my hand unless I break one and the doctor will explain anyway useless, thanks for the time suck biology class. And don't tell me you know anyone proficient in a foreign language from high school..... You get my point... 10:39 AM Thursday, August 24, 2006   Thursday, August 24, 2006 Why does it seem like everyone around me here has had someone in their life die from brain tumors? Is this where we all come, they ship us to? 2 people this week alone one second husband and one girlfriend both bim bam boom poof gone. But not Bob he is here to stay maybe this is part of my mission.... stay tuned for details...... 7:12 PM Sunday, August 20, 2006   Sunday, August 20, 2006 friends and family Not everyone is going to think like you. Some people if you just order pizza for instance when they come over, don't see the difference in over 10 hours of cooking a home cooked meal. Some do. When they don't you have to look at where it's coming from, and leave it there. If you are a horrible cook order pizza, if you know you can nail it cook it, but we can not expect everyone to get it or show their appreciation. If you know the pizza people are coming, pizza they will get. Friendships have highs and lows words can screw people and people live different types of lives. Be careful what you wish for in losing a friend or drifting to far apart that is what you will get. It happens I never thought someone would be upset with me being so happy in a relationship. Friendships 2 way phone works both ways be the bigger person put the call through. If they go unanswered remember one door opens another one closes, the chapters of life. 9:57 AM Friday, August 18, 2006   8/18/06 Celebrate life. New life. Your life. Anyone who has had the miserable experience in any fashion of coming close to losing it changes perspective in one form or another. It's not about the actions sometimes it's about the lack of actions or your state of mind. Sometimes if you know how much someone cares it will change your outlook. Life doesn't keep score. Games do. Help someone today in someway. And if they don't appreciate it get a laugh at being snotty back to them. Where you are or where you are going can sometimes be steered by your head. Remember you don't have total control or else you would never stub your tow. 9:13 PM Tuesday, August 15, 2006   8/15/06 If your day sucks... not getting better Current mood: crazy Think of something crazy, stupid and funny you and or you and one of your friends did and friggin laugh. Change gears. Reach out and just touch someone. If it is pinching a strangers ass do it, I guarantee you will laugh when she walks away or simply pick up the phone and talk to someone that you never get around to calling. Call a stranger and pretend to be a telemarketer. B 4:06 PM Monday, August 14, 2006   Welcome to the best year of my llife: My soulmate, best friend, lover, the works, married ME. I am still in shock. Super-Honeymoon. Sold old house. Bought and furnished new big house. Babies on the way from 2 friends this month. CAN I GET A HELL FUCKING YEAH, thanks Tommy. Top that pizza hut. Pizza hut? I have no idea. Punching out. 12:04 PM Sunday, August 13, 2006   This is a long catty one There is what my groomsman said and my answers thses are parts are my responses to my groomsman email: Dude, I have just been really busy. Sorry I have beenunreachable... Unreachable... interesting what about didn't call you back (see end) I am not touching base with someone unreachable.... how do I touch base then? Listen, I want to tell you something that has been onmy mind in the interest of communication amongstfriends. Our friendship is not what it was. I don't know where we went wrong or got off track but its veered of the road. I am starting a new life with my wifeand 2 families it is an adjustment you have alreadygone through in the years after Phantasm that during that time we didn't hang out much or even speak. Taking aside the devastating illness that you have hadto deal with all these years, and understanding that it has hijacked everything, we just are not there for each other like we were. There is NO taking aside CANCER it isstill in me I am currently on chemo-therapy. I have been told by a Vietnam Special Operations vet that my experience with cancer is just like Vietnam or Iraq (his son is coming home badly burned and with brokenbones on one side of his body) I looked death in theeye and crawled away. Ask Lance Armstrong if he couldput it aside. Dude I can't grow hair for the rest ofmy life which I don't care about as long as I canlive. Not many people came to see me in the hospitallast time, but the people that did are my tightest group, even Bob Byzell came last time. My wife thinks about it more than I do and has to stay tough, and hadher grandfather pass on the same week, and only missed one day. Imagine being scared to lose your spouse at anytime and having no control. Every week even through the honeymoon, marriage and move I made time to write the same soldier in Iraq right now. I gave him a couple minutes of distraction while he defends our right to email. Been doing it going on 10 months now. I feel good knowing that I stood by my friend when he needed me. You did take me in for a follow up which was great of you because for about 3 of the past 6 years I could not drive according to my doctors and couldn't get into the city to see them on my own. I remember hiding in your car so a tech wouldn't see me I was slumped over for like an hour. But, when was the last time that you called me up and said "lets go have dinner together, or "we're in theneighborhood and we'd like to see you". Same paragraph you are comparing dinner tocancer? Chemo rerstricts your diet a lot of times Iam happy I can function as much as I can. I told you on the phone when you complained about your income, I live on 30 K a year I can't go out much, even though I know you treated a lot of times I thank you for that. Now I know you're thinking that we have both been busy and I agree and understand, but we really don't do what friends do. If you and I do something its becauseI called you. Why???? You are one of the only cats I could call during the day because you are in sales and I did call, you called me on the way to appointments or gigs. I have friends that understand I was planning a wedding,moving, all that stuff I did a lot of phone work for. I know you're married now, but I have been for 8 yrs,plus Grace, and I can always make time for my friends. All the gigs you do I told you I consider you to busy on the weekends to even call. There are part of the 8 + years I didn't hear from you often either. I was very hurt that you were not at Grace's party. IKNOW THAT YOU JUST MOVED IN AND HAD THINGS TO DO AND IUNDERSTAND THAT, Love the caps for effect but come on. but couldn't that have waited, to do something nicefor someone that you called "your niece" on the phone?? What makes you close like that to her, because you say you are, or because of your actions?? Are you giving me the Bob Byzell speach? save it. Ask your parents. Ask Bonnie. When you moved I was the first person there and last to leave for 2 days and gladly. Your father called me one of your best friends for being so helpful. And I don't regret it unless you do. My actions? I do what I can and can't afford much. I was extremely busy with a day full of activities the day I screwed up taking you to lunch on the day of Heathers shower, but I knew it was IMPORTANT to you and I could not let you down. I was busy too my friend, and I canceled several things that day and left my wife and daughter behind for you. Again don't lay this at my door step you screwed up the day. And I am one of your few true friends who has told you your family comes first. I was happy togo to lunch with you very happy, but would have never been mad if you spent time with Bonnie and Grace. Thats the truth I was happy your last band let you go. But you were still to concerned with gigging so you started playing again and left your family for your own reasons wanting to gig take your wedding ring off and having girls say they miss you on my space. Mywife, family and friends are all I need. I knew what I had to do and I was fine with that because you are my friend... And as your friend I would not have been hurt if you said you made an honest mistake in scheduling and it was and spent the day with Bonnie and Grace. Lastly, I want to ask you if you feel that I added something to the wedding, in some way? I guess my gift to you for being in my wedding was nothing? I had 2 people in my wedding party you were one did I make a dent as one of 6 in your wedding? Remember I was at your tux fitting? You were the last to get yours for mine, john john out of state had his before you you drive around to meetings all day, but I digress into trivial meaningless crap was beeing in my wedding important to you you said so at the time....Did I spend hundreds of dollars and leave my family for the weekend for the bachelor party? You leave your family almost every weekend soyou can work on playing the drums at age 35, and you had a gig that weekend you got covered. Did I take you for that lunch at Windlass as a guy's brunch? Already covered, you did and thank you. I do cherish time alive with my friends because I have tasted death. Did I pick you guys up and drop you guys off and do anything I could to make the day better on your day? No you put me ahead of your family. Thank youfor being my friend and sorry I haven't said enough before. Apologize to Bonnie and Grace for me getting in the way. Well I have yet to receive a thank you card for the wedding, for the gift, Number one ask Bonnie how it works we JUST received our pictures to send out in thank you's today. I have them pre-written, stamped etc. alreadyto go out. the bachelor party, Which John planned and executed perfectly, I did buy the steak dinner as a thank you. Sorry for the homo humor but the rest of us loved it. the luncheon, or anything. Do you think that's right?? Thank you's for the bachelor party? Luncheon? I didn't know we sent that many cards to each other. I thought loving you as a friend was enough. Sillyme. I am a non confrontation, easy going guy. I repel awayfrom arguments and disagreements, in fact it was EXTREMELY hard for me to write this, but I just had to mention these things because they have been bothering me so much. Look as friends you have to respect the ebb and flow of life. Felix, John, Jim, Doug, Dennis my brother in law all have not bitch slapped me which I feel this is. Being good friends as we are is about reciprocating for one another. I have no outstanding love for corvettes, but I do you, and happily went to 2 shows with you, to spend time with you, my friend. 2 more shows we haven't one because you left your family to go gig again, and one for the blessing of your new child. Have you ever gone to a Harley rally? I have known you a long time Bob and we have walked through fire together several times. Remember the times I worked long and hard for Phantasm as far as long Island, philly, as close as Newark pulling all nighters watching the gear all night while you were the rockstar? We used to do anything to help one another because we wanted to and it was important. Lets not forget how we arrived at this point. There are lots of good times ahead in our lives. I hope there are I have fought hard to live this far with one regret I didn't serve my country in the Army. I am not asking you to come over here and cook me breakfast every Sunday, You don't get up for breakfast you are out at gigs all night. (Just a little bitter at this point.) but friends make time for each other, I am here all week not that far away, seeingJersey people 3 out of 4 weekends so far. I never drove you around hung over keyless, puked on my car,hit a deer, moved you out of an ex's while she cried,offered brutally honest advice like hey maybe your last band was right second child stay home focus on the family we are growing up and getting older, more responsibility.and do things for each other, and show appreciation to one another... Man I have told you I love you and thank you. Other friends that are married and moved understand the phase. I said what I had to say and I look forward to your reply... What is this a sales email you look forward to my reply no tuck in at the end my friend Len? P. S., I hope that you and Heather are enjoying yournew home... Do you really or is this a callback to when you never called me last about helping to move on that Friday when I watched Heather Pass out on the floor from working to hard that day.... you did not know about that because you didn't call me back when you said you would. Look I still love you but calling me out like this hurts me and my family, if you feel the need to push away I am sorry. I never meant to pull you away from your family, you do every time you gig. Your friend for life....Bob P.S. Guys shouldn't do tit for tat living with a wife is challenging enoug for any man, because we screw that up daily, by not being 100%. 8:37 AM Thursday, August 10, 2006   Thursday, August 10, 2006 why pa? That's what a lot of people asked. Because when I look at my house I yell a big Tommy Lee, "Hell Fin' Yeah". Thats why OK almost all set we just need to jump through the dmv hoops to get that stuff set up. Not much new for me. We hired a fence guy to put in a fence for the dogs. They still hate being tied up. I was working in the yard clearing some brush when I must have disturbed a hive It has been cool at night here we even dipped into the 50's one night. 10:37 PM Thursday, August 03, 2006   We are pretty well situated in out home as I had previously written. I think I found a doctor to work with out here. For a minute there I thought I would be driving 80 miles each way once a week to monitor my condition. I started chemo therapy again. I felt a little sick all day it has been a lot worse in the past. I still have to go to NYC for my specialist. We went swimming yesterday at the community pool with Heather’s friend and 2 daughters. The pool here is cool I got sunburned in one rectangle area on my upper back that I didn’t cover. It has been high 90’s to 100 for 3 days here. I have been meeting some of the neighbors finally they all seem nice. I joined the social club at the fire house. At the least it’s a way to support the volunteer fire department, but mostly I hope to meet some new people there, some locals. They have to vote on admitting you and then you are on a 90 day probation period. To make sure they want to hang out with you I guess They have several events throughout the year and a bar open almost everyday. I will not try to explain the drag party they had with the men in womens clothes but they do shoot things in the fall behind the firehouse. Guns Booze, men in drag = a good time. We lost power last night for 8 hours and then about 1 hour during the day. I was worried about our food in the fridge, but everything stayed. We didn’t open it until the power was on again. There was more banking drama but I got it straightened out and won’t bore you with it. But still don’t use Bank of America. My parents came up this past weekend and we went back to Jersey to see Heather’s family. This weekend just us and the house. No obligations, moving, family entertaining, but I am sure it will still be busy. I have a 3rd estimate on a fence coming tomorrow. The 2nd guy wanted $1000 more than the first guy so he is out. The dogs really want to be free of their leads on a tree. That and they are real jealous of the cat. It poured here earlier and I made the mistake of letting them back out when it dried up a little and was cool out. They are a mess, mud head to paw. It’s a dogs life! 8:51 PM