November 2002 rediagnosed with a recurring tumor I am going to bring you through the whole fun thing
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This is where you stick random tidbits of information about yourself.
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Brain Tumor History And Other Rants
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Sunday, November 12, 2006
11/12/06
I have had a lot of time for reflection and learning about people since I moved. I have lost a 20 year friend due to bizarre not understood circumstances. But it’s just another chapter in my book a new door opens now. Some acquaintances have decided to drop away also. Some people you can’t get rid of. Some people are always there and it takes moving away to bring them closer and in the for-front of your life. Those relationships you hold onto. The friends that survive you have to hold onto. Offer them your support and the same comes back. Then you sometimes stumble onto old friends (Myspace) and you pick up where you left off. People are strange but you have to build a friendship like a house. One way friends end at a dead end and the takers never can understand why. Then you have people that make a difference just by passing through your life. Like say a nurse that took care of you for a couple nights in a hospital. But was there in a needful time when you were alone. I always was super nice to everyone helping me while I was laid up. Who wants to help someone all bitter? And you certainly won’t get quicker service. Up here I have met new people from my area. Some are just plain characters and others are more genuine and have a friendship to offer. At the end of the day you can’t please everyone, hell I don’t talk to my sister or mother for that fact. We all have our crosses to bear. Some just leave deeper scars than others. I have learned what some of my deepest damage is, have I learned to deal with it, it depends on the situation. I have a never ending fear of abandonment (thanks mom) I don’t think I have totally in check. I used to push away a lot also and run away to hide in my head (but I turned out to be a big mouth now I have to think more before I speak)(don’t worry mom you screwed that up to. On the flip side my father taught me what it means to be a man and a great parent; although not perfect his message is not a scar to deal with.
NINevery day is exactly the same
i believe i can see the future
'cause i repeat the same routine
i think i used to have a purpose
but then again
it might have been a dream
i think i used to have a voice
now i never make a sound
and i just do what i've been told
i really don't want
them to come around, oh no
every day is exactly the same
every day is exactly the same
there is no love here, and there is no pain
every day is exactly the same
i can feel their eyes are watching
in case i lose myself again
sometimes i think i'm happy here (sometimes)
sometimes, yet i still pretend
i can't remember how this got started
but i can tell you
exactly how it will end
every day is exactly the same
every day is exactly the same
there is no love here, and there is no pain
every day is exactly the same
i'm writing on a little piece of paper
i'm hoping someday you might find
well i'll hide it behind something
they won't look behind
i am still inside you
a little bit comes bleeding through
i wish this could have been any other way
but i just don't know
i don't know what else i can do
every day is exactly the same
every day is exactly the same
there is no love here, and there is no pain
every day is exactly the same
every day is exactly the same
every day is exactly the same
there is no love here, and there is no pain
every day is exactly the same
5:33 PM
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